1. The depression rate in Utah is one of the highest in the nation. She believes that one reason this is so is because those without the gospel are happy living Terrestial or Telestial laws. As LDS women we are trying to live Celestial laws in a Telestial world.
A little bit ago I heard that the Danes of Denmark are the happiest people on earth. This shocked me. I lived there for over a year and although there were happy people I never thought that as a whole that they were that happy. As I listened to this talk yesterday I remembered that the finding behind the study of the Danes was that they had very low expectations and therefore were happy and content with their simple lives.
One of my sisters believes that the reason the depression rate in Utah is so high is because the Utah women actually go to a doctor to get diagnosed. I must admit, I never knew it was a problem until I moved into this area. But I think it is great that it isn't one of those hidden closet topics anymore.
2. When our time comes to be judged by Christ and He asks us if we are worthy, what will our answer be? She told us we don't need to be perfect to be worthy, just pure. We can know if we are pure by asking ourselves one question. "When is the last time you felt the Spirit of the Holy Ghost in your life?" If you are able to feel the Holy Ghost in your life then you are pure.
This lady was so sweet but had a sense of humor like no other. After talking about how obsessed we are about our bodies she told us this: when she is buried the only numbers she wants on her tombstone are "Married in a 20 but buried in a 12" Her daughters told her there was no way they could fit her into a size 12. She told them, "Just split it up the back and fluff it around, no one will ever know. I'll worry about the resurection when that time comes."
I felt wonderful when I left her class. I would love your input on why you think the depression rate is so high in Utah and also what it means to be pure.
12 comments:
Oooohh, what a good topic! I think she is exactly right about depression in Utah. I think we all are guilty of trying to be "perfect" (celestial) and have higher standards of what it means to be a good mom, wife, and just person in general. It makes it hard when we fail or don't achieve that highly, but really sometimes our "failure" is actually quite an accomplishment according to others' standards. Hmmmmm, I need to think more on this, but thanks for making me think about it. I can't wait to hear what others say.
it's amber (ward) lee...HOORAY!! I was SO excited to find your blog off of Tauna's!! When you do make your blog private then- make sure you invite me!! Our blog is amberaaron.blogspot.com and my email address is
aalee38@wmconnect.com! I always see pic's of your family on Tauna's- but, I didn't know if you had a blog for sure or not!!
I had never really thought about this until I moved out of Utah and saw such a difference first hand. I noticed while in Utah everyone would strive for something they didn't obtain on a daily basis and felt like they were failures for it.
Here, in Arizona, it seems they have a better understanding and acceptance of life's imperfections and don't constantly compare themselves to others.
Sounds like a great conference.
Does it count if you only get depressed once a month like clockwork? I have a friends that is completely depressed and I've decided that she has become comfortable with it and is scared to change. I keep telling her to get meds but she won't. But I refuse to play her game and it irritates me when others do. You know when she will just say something so everyone will say, No your not and then start the compliments.
that would be really fun to have cousions dinner once a month! I need your phone number!
Hi Nanette, Amber told me how to find your blog...how fun that you've started a family blog. What an interesting class you attended! I must admit that I have had several friends that have been diagnosed with depression...95% of them are LDS. I think it does have something to do with the "mormon culture" and how much we expect of ourselves (and from each other). Some women know how to "accept" the challenges better than others and some expect too much of themselves. I believe it all comes down to trying to find balance and happiness. Very interesting! I loved your cute shower valentine idea, too :) I started a monthly recipe exchange w/ the ward cousins (and a few others) back in Sept or Oct...at the time no one knew if you had e-mail. You can e-mail me at djhurdsman@cox.net and I'll add you to the list so you can get a few new recipes on the 1st of each month (as well as maybe share a recipe or two with the rest of us) Our blog is stampnscrapjenn.blogspot.com and if you don't mind, I'll put a link to yours on my blog. Take care!!
I think that lady made a lot of sense. But I think feeling depressed is a human emotion and for some people that is their trial in this life. I also think non utah mormons like to think they are better than utah mormons and talk crap on them.
Michelle, you make me laugh right out loud. I do believe it is something real, dealing w/ hormones and all but I also believe sometimes we ask too much of ourselves. We can't reach our expectations and become down on ourselves.
Just for the record I AM NOT DEPRESSED. But do get down sometimes when I have a lot of stressors. Like the lady said, we bring on our stressors ourselves. We either birth them or we marry them. Ha ha hee!
I think whatever sister said this is right. I think as members of the Mormon faith, we put a lot of importance on being happy all the time. That's just not possible for most of us. So I think a lot of women go to the doctor to solve that problem.
It's weird but I think lowering expectations(like my ancestors, the Danes) is a coping mechanism that I use. I seem to do that about everything. I am often pleasantly surprised when things just go splendidly. Maybe that's why I am pretty happy.
I also think that for some people, it is just their lot in life and they may want so badly to be happy, but have no way to get there.
By the way, a recent study just came out about how depression medications don't do any better in scientific tests than a placebo.
Pretty interesting thoughts here, Nan.
That lady sounds like such a great speaker. I love it when they add humor to a spirital topic. As for my thoughts on Depression, I think LDS people compare themselves to each other, therefore exceeding their limits trying to be like Sis. Smith. While in Germany I had a major bout with depression. My friend actually called and made me an appointment with the psychiatrist and then took me in to see him. He was not LDS. He did all the mental exams and said I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. My problem - I was trying to do too much and I couldn't do it. I was overwhelmed with my kids, my husband never helped me and I couldn't do it. The harder I tried the worse it got. My memory started failing, I was blacking out - it was really bad. So after many sessions with this "shrink" he told me flat out- 3 kids is hard, you need help. Next he called in my husband - and layed into him. I exclaimed that I didn't know why I coudn't do it all, Sister Smith has 8 kids and she has it all together. The 'shrink' said, looking at my husband. "You didn't marry Sister Smith. You married Christy and she can't do it all." Once I heard that, I realized that everyone has strengths - some people can handle 8 kids and some cannot. I have many other qualities I found that Sister Smith didn't have. It also took some drugs to help me get back to a functioning level. But I must say - I now have another kid and I am not taking drugs and I am not depressed. I just look at things differently. And my husband helps a ton when he is home! I am also not afraid to ask for help when I need it. I found people are more than willing to help, but we have to ask.
nan this is a very interesting topic. Thanks for making me think and ponder about all this. In the 2007 conf. address by Elder Bednar - Clean Hands and a pure Heart had some neat things in it.
"Let me suggest that hands are made clean through the process of putting off the natural man and by overcoming sin and the evil influences in our lives through the Savior's Atonement. Hearts are purified as we receive His strengthening power to do good and become better. All of our worthy desires and good works, as necessary as they are, can never produce clean hands and a pure heart. It is the atonement of Jesus Christ that provides both a cleansing and redeeming power that helps us to overcome sin and a sanctifying and strengthening power that helps us to become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength."
We will not attain a state of perfection in this life, but we can and should press forward with faith in Christ along the strait and narrow path and make steady progress toward our eternal destiny. The Lord's pattern for spiritual development is "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little" 2 Nephi 28:30 Small, steady, incremental spiritual improvements are the steps the Lord would have us take. Preparing to walk guiltless before God is one of the primary purposes of mortality and the pursuit of a lifetime; it does not result from sporadic spurts of intense spiritual activity."
I won't type anymore, sorry it's so long. find your ensign and read it... it's way good!
I am very behind in reading your blog but wanted to comment on the depression "epidemic". I think that LDS women feel the depression whereas people of other faiths can turn to alcohol, food or drugs to numb the pain. As women in this world we are bombarded with the media telling us we aren't thin enough, pretty enough, wrinkle-free enough, smart enough, etc.
Nanette- your family is so beautiful and your kids are getting so old! Good think you don't age, right? Drop me a line sometime. Rebeccabarber1@gmail.com
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